its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
