I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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