Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
