and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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