when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
