so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
