I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
