Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
