I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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