I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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