We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he puts the penis in happiness.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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