You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
