I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
