I don't think brook has ever known best
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
