i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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