it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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