My friends, they love my intelligence
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
