we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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