Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
