My room smells like vodka and shame
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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