Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
