No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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