Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
