I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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