Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
