I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
