Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
