I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
