so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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