Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize