Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't deserve a penis
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
