i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I didn't notice because vodka
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
