sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
