Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
