You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
