we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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