There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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