I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
