Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
