at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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