Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
