you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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