arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
