You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
