Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
