we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
