White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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