i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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