I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
