Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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