Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
