Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
