i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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