this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
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I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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