no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
