Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
