my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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