First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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