Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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