Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize