PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
