She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize