I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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