the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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