hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
