dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
