For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
